The Rocky Horror Greaser Show
by sister socrates
Summary: Dallas and Sylvia take a trip to see Curly at the reformatory. Can you say, Outsiders and Rocky Horror Picture Show crossover of ultimate doom?
1. Chapter 1

**Summary: **On a trip to see Curly at the reformatory, Dallas and Sylvia have an experience they're not going to be forgetting easily.

**WARNING: **It's weird, folks. The Outsiders. As characters from _The Rocky Horror Picture Show_. If that's not OOC, I don't know what is. Don't like it, don't read it. Probably some eventual slash in there, too. /winkwink

**Disclaimer: **I _do not _own _The Outsiders_ or _The Rocky Horror Picture Show_. I don't have a Greaser or Tranny to my name! SE Hinton and Richard O'Brien do! And they are amazing! Oh, and Frankie owns herself.

* * *

"_I would like to, if I may, take you on a strange journey..."_ A female, trying desperately (but failing miserably) at sounding like Charles Grey as The Criminologist in _The Rocky Horror Picture Show_ began.

"**How strange was it?!"** Another female voice wanted to know.

"_Shut up, Frankie!" _The Non-Criminologist, a girl named Rozamond exclaimed angrily. "_It seemed to be an ordinary night when Dallas Winston--"_

"**Asshole!"**

"_And his girlfriend Sylvia--"_

"**Slut!"**

"_Two not-so-normal, misbehaving Greasers left Tulsa that late November evening to go visit one Curly Shephard, who was in the reformatory. It's true that there were dark storm clouds in the direction of which they were headed. It's true, also, that the car they were driving was stolen, and did not have a spare tire. But they being "rebellious" hoods on a night out, weren't gonna let a little rain spoil their trip, you dig? ...On a night out..."_

"**What _kind _of night out?!"**

"_It was a night out they were gonna remember--"_

"**How long?!"**

"_For a very, very long time."_

xxXxx

As Rozamond tried to narrate, one November evening, two teenagers named Dallas and Sylvia were on their way to visit their friend Tim's brother Curly at the reformatory. Things had gone fairly smoothly, until it started to rain.

"Glory," Sylvia started. "That's _the third _motorcycle that's passed us, man!"

"**The slut can count!"**

"_Stop it, Frankie!"_

"I think we took the wrong fork a few miles back," Dallas replied irrelevantly, trying to ignore the voices that had been following them around all day. It was getting a little creepy.

"Um... Okay? Where the hell are all those motorcycles comin' from?"

"**Japan!"**

Dallas ignored his supposed girlfriend, and tried to back up.

"**Don't back up! BOOM!"**

There was a loud bang.

"Shit!" Sylvia screamed. "What was _that_?!"

"We could very possibly have a blowout. DAMMIT!" He thought a moment. "I knew I should have stolen a spare tire, too!"

"**Asshole!"**

"_Stay here_. I'm gonna go find help."

"Oh, really. Where you gonna go in THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE?"

"I think we passed an old house a few miles back. Maybe they'd lemme use their phone."

"**Castles don't have phones, Asshole!"**

"_Okay, seriously, knock it off, Frankie. That one didn't even make sense."_

"Well, I'm going with you," Sylvia insisted, also trying to ignore the disembodied voices.

"No, you ain't. You're gonna stay right here."

"Look, I'm coming with you, okay?! Besides, the owner of that phone could be some cheap whore, and you'd leave me sitting out here all night."

Dallas coughed loudly, knowing she was right.

They both grabbed some old newspaper, pages of _The Tulsa Sentinel, _to try and keep dry, and set off to the old house. Their walk was silent.

"_Psst! Sylvia!" _Rozamond hissed nonchalantly._ "You're supposed to start singing "There's A Light (Over At The Frankenstein Place"!"_

"Okay, _weird, disembodied _voices, you can follow us around all you want, but there is NO WAY IN HELL that I am going to start singing some probably-cheesy song about lights in the darkness!" Sylvia exploded. Rozamond didn't try to make her sing after that.

Eventually, their pilgrimage to the house was completed, and the very wet Dally and Sylvia walked up the porch steps.

xxXxx

"_And so it seemed that fortune had smiled on Dallas and Sylvia," _Rozamond stated. Her Charles Grey impression still wasn't going all that great.

"**Unlike your neck!"**

"_Frankie, shut the bleedin' hell up! I have a neck! Errm-- Anyway... It seemed as though they had found the assistance that their plight required..."_

"**Are you sure?!"**

"_...Or had they?"_

xxXxx

Dally and Sylvia stood on the porch for about 15 minutes. They couldn't find the doorbell, and it didn't occur to them that knocking works, too.

"Umm... DING DONG," Dallas said loudly at the door.

Finally, the door creaked open. In the doorway stood none other than Sodapop Curtis.

Neither Dallas nor Sylvia knew how they'd landed themselves at the Curtis house when they drove past it when it was still light out. Dal claimed to have passed this house maybe 45 minutes before.

"Hello," Soda greeted, quite monotone. That was very unlike him.

"**Hello!"**

"Hi. My name's Dallas Winston--"

"**Asshole!"**

"And this is my girlfriend, Sylvia, whom SE Hinton never gave a last name--"

"**Slut!"**

"We were wondering if we could use your phone. See, our car broke down a few miles on up the road, and--"

"You're wet," Soda replied.

"Umm, no shit, Sherlock! It's raining!" Sylvia exclaimed.

"I think you both better... Come inside..."

There was quite a bit of loud music coming from down the house. At least that was _one _normal thing about the Curtis house tonight. It wasn't until Dallas and Sylvia got inside that they were _really _weirded out. Even the bleedin' layout of the house was different, resembling Frank N. Furter's castle, from _The Rocky Horror Picture Show._ "...This way..."

"Y'all havin' a party, or somethin', Soda?" Dally asked, confused. "Without me?"

"You've arrived on a very special night," Soda replied. "It's one of the Master's affairs."

"Oh," Sylvia muttered. "Lucky him."

Ponyboy, who had been lurking by the bannister, decided to make himself known.

"I'm lucky, you're lucky, he's lucky, we're aaaaaall lucky! Mwahahaha!"

_Holy crap, _Dallas thought, _Who spiked Pony's Kool-Aid?_

"It's astounding..." Sodapop randomly started. "Time is fleeting... _Madness_ takes it's toll... But listen closely..."

"**For how long?!"**

"Not for very much longer!" Ponyboy replied.

"I've got to keep control... I remember doing the Time Warp!"

"**Kick! Kick!"**

"_Oh my God, Frankie, just shut up, okay?! This is bugging all of us!"_

"Drinking those moments when... The black mist would hit me, and the void would be calling..."

"LET'S DO THE TIME WARP AGAIN!" He and Ponyboy both screamed.

Dallas now wondered who had spiked Soda's Kool-Aid, too. Still, he and Sylvia followed them into the... Ballroom whatever. This new layout was pretty freakin' confusing.

"_It's just a jump to the left..."_

"**And then a step to the riiiiiight!"**

"_Frankie, they sing that part."_

"**Oh. MY BAD."**

"_With your hands on your hips--"_

"You bring your knees in tiiiiight!" The supposed "Transylvanians" finished for her. In the crowd of them, you could pick out Tim Shephard, Buck Merrill, Angela Shephard, and some of the folks from _That Was Then, This Is Now_, like Brian and Cathy and M&M. "Then it's the pelvic thruuuuust! It really drives you ins-a-a-a-ane! LET'S DO THE TIME WARP AGAIN!"

"It's so dreamy-- Oh fantasy free me! So you can't see me, no not at all," Ponyboy started in a very Magentaesque stance. "In another dimension, with voyeuristic intentions, well-secluded-- I see _all."_

"With a bit of a mind-flip..." Soda hissed.

"You're into the time slip!"

"And nothing can ever be the same..."

"You're spaced out on sensation!"

"Like you're under sedation!"

"LET'S DO THE TIME WARP AGAIN!"

Dallas and Sylvia were trying to come up with a way to escape from the room. Watching as one's friends are suddenly characters from _The Rocky Horror Picture Show _is kind of a disturbing thing, and they didn't really want to watch it that much. Thumbing it to the reformatory would even be better than this.

"Well, I was walkin' down the street, just havin' a think, when a snake of a guy gave me an evil wink. He shook me up, he took me by surprise, he had a pickup truck and the Devil's eyes! He stared at me and I felt a change! Time meant nothin', never would again!"

"Johnnycake...?" Dallas stared, mostly in horror, at the Gang's Pet. Being Columbia. It was just too weird.

"LET'S DO THE TIME WARP AGAIN!" All the "Transylvanians" exclaimed. "LET'S DO THE TIME WARP AGAIN!"

"_It's just a jump to the left!"_

"Then a step to the riiiiiiight!"

"_With your hands on your hips--"_

"You bring your knees in tiiiiight! Then it's the pelvic thruuuuust! It really drives you insa-a-a-ane! LET'S DO THE TIME WARP AGAIN! LET'S DO THE TIME WARP AGAIN!"

And with that, they all fell to the floor.

"Dallas," Sylvia whispered. "Say something, stupid!"

"Uhh... Anyone know how to Madison?"

"**Asshole!"**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:** I don't own _The Outsiders_; Ms. Hinton does... I don't own _Rocky Horror_, either. Richard O'Brien owns that... Frankie owns herself... Blah, blah, blah.

**WARNING:** I'll say it again- This is not meant as anything serious. The gang is extremely OOC, and it's pretty terrible. /giggle. There will be eventual slash, and I wouldn't recommed reading this next chapter if you're a Steve Randle fan. HE'S JUST A SWEET TRANSVESTITE! /winkwink.

* * *

"Uhh... Dallas, let's beat it."

"For God's sakes, keep a grip on yourself, Sylvia. It's only a party! They're probably high or something!"

The Transylvanians were leering at them, and had been, for quite some time.

"Who the hell cares? I wanna _go._"

"Well, we _can't _go anywhere, 'til I get to a damned phone."

"Then ask Sodapop or someone!"

"Gimme a minute, Sylvia. We don't wanna get in their way."

"ASK HIM ABOUT THE PHONE!"

Dallas and Sylvia had been backing up, and out of the supposed ballroom that entire time. Before they knew it, they had backed into an old-fashioned elevator.

"There ain't nothin' to worry about, so gimme a minute!"

Sylvia looked at the person in the elevator behind them, and cocked an eyebrow. It was Steve Randle. In a starry, wizardesque cape. And make-up that was vaguely reminiscent of _hers._ It was taking a lot not to scream, even though everyone had kind of assumed that Steve would meet that fate someday.

"How do you do," Steve began, grinning. "I see you've met my faithful handyman. He's just a little brought down because... When you knocked... He thought you were the _candyman_." Steve exited the elevator, and ran down the path Dally and Sylvia had just backed down. "Don't get strung out by the way I look! Don't judge a book by it's cover! I'm not much of a man by the light of day, but by night I'm one hell of a lover!"

"**Throw it!"** Frankie yelled obnoxiously, just as Steve tossed the cape on the battered armchair behind him. Under the wizard cape, Steve had on... A dress. Sylvia was pretty sure it belonged to Evie.

"I'm just a Sweet Transvestite! From Traaaaaanssexual, TRAN-SYL-VANIAAAAA!"

Dallas was _really _scared of that outburst. He made a mental note to disown Steve at some point. Anybody who ran around in their girlfriend's clothes singing about being a "sweet transvestite" was not a friend of his.

_That's real tuff, Steve, _he thought sarcastically.

"Let me show you around!" Steve began again. "Maybe play you a sound! You look like you're both pretty groovy! Or if you want something visual that's not too abysmal, we could take in an old Steve Reeves movie."

"**Who the heck is Steve Reeves?!"**

"Hey, Steve-- Uh, I'm glad we caught you at home... Could we use your phone? We're both in a bit of a hurry," Dally muttered. He looked to Sylvia.

"...Right."

"We'll just say where we are... Then go back to the car. We don't want to be and worry."

"Well, you got caught with a flat?" Steve asked. "Well, how 'bout that? Well, babies, don't you _panic._ By the light of the night it'll all seem all right! I'll get you a satanic mechanic! I'm just a Sweet Transvestite! From Transsexual, Transylvaniaaaa!"

Dallas itched the back of his neck.

"Uhh... Yeah."

"Why don't you stay for the night?"

"Night!" Soda echoed.

"Or maybe a bite?"

"Bite!" Johnny hissed.

"I could show you my favourite _obsession,_" Steve informed, playing with Soda's hair. "I've been makin' a man. With blond hair and a tan. And he's good for relieving my... _Tension_. I'm just a Sweet Transvestite! From Transsexual, Transylvania! A sweet transvestite--"

"Sweet transvestite!" Johnny, Ponyboy, and Sodapop (who had been gathered around the armchair with Steve) echoed.

"From Transsexual--"

"TRAN-SYL-VANIAAAA!"

"So," Steve started more seriously, looking at Dally and Sylvia. "Come up to the lab, and see what's on the slab! I see you shiver with antici... pation! But maybe the rain..." He chuckled. "Isn't _really _to blame. So I'll remove the cause, but not the symptom!"

He made a grand exit with the elevator, and the Trannies applauded. Tim Shephard even whistled.

Soda came over and tossed Sylvia a rather bloody towel, and Ponyboy did the same to Dallas. They weren't going to refrain from leaving out any part of the film, it seemed. Quickly, the youngest Curtis brothers took to undressing their friend and his girlfriend.

"Dallas! Do somethin', dammit!"

"Sylvia. Just go with it."

"Slowly, slowly!" Johnny exclaimed, watching closely. "It's too nice a job to rush!" He paused. "Y'know, y'all are real lucky to get invited up to Steve's laboratory. Some people would give their _right arm_ to go up there."

"**Take mine!"**

"People like _you,_ maybe?" Dallas asked.

"Ha! I've seen it!"


	3. Chapter 3

_A/N: Well, I apologize for not updating daily, like I had been doing. It's normally easier for me to update before I go to school, but I nearly overslept this morning, and didn't have time. But... Oh well. This is an exciting chapter-- We get to find out who Darry is! Now, Two-Bit's the only one left. And if you use the process of elimination, I'm sure you can figure it out. Hehehe._

**Disclaimer: **I don't own _The Outsiders_, _The Rocky Horror Picture Show,_ or Miss Frankie. Don't sue meee!

**WARNING: **Oh-em-gee, things _really _get weird in this beautiful chapter. Slash is hinted at, and will be happening in the near future. Keep that in mind, and keep in mind that this is total silliness. I realize how OOC it is. You've been warned!

* * *

"Come along," Sodapop suddenly ordered, standing by the elevator. "The master doesn't like to be kept waiting."

"Shift it!" Ponyboy hurried, shoving Dallas and Sylvia into the elevator. He got in, too, along with Soda and Johnny.

They stood in silence, finally reaching Steve's laboratory. Dallas and Sylvia observed their surroundings, till both their eyes fell onto Steve himself. He was wearing a smock over what was probably Evie's dress.

"**What's your favourite colour?!"**

"...Ponyboy," Steve stated. It didn't seem to faze him that a disembodied voice was yelling at him about colours.

"**What's your favourite university?!"**

"..Johnnycake."

"_Knock it off, for Chrissake! That shtick only works with the actual movie! Ponyboy is not a colour, and Johnny is not a university!"_

"**Sorry!"**

"...Go and assist Sodapop. I will entertain..." Steve trailed off, chuckling to himself, probably at the sight of Dally and Sylvia standing before him in their underwear. Dallas extended a hand awkwardly.

"Dallas Winston. And this is my girlfriend, Sylvia, whom SE Hinton never gave a last name."

"**Asshooole! Sluuuut!"**

"Well, that's nice. And what charming underclothes you both have..." He chuckled some more, then handed them both lab coats. "But.. Here. Put these on. They'll make you feel less... Vulnerable. It's not often we receive visitors here, not to mention offer them... Hospitality."

"Hospitality?!" Dallas exploded. "Steve, dammit, all we wanna do is use the phone, which is pretty fucking reasonable! We don't need your hospitality!"

"**Iiiit's Super-Asshole!"**

"Oh, Dallas, how _forceful _you are... Such a perfect specimen of manhood... And so... _Dominant._ You must be real proud, Sylvia."

"...I guess so," She replied, while Dally stood there fuming.

"Everything is in readiness, Master," Sodapop told Steve suddenly. "We merely await your word."

"Goody!" He replied happily, stepping over to a microphone that was, for some reason, there. He tapped on it, to see if it was on, then began to speak. Pony and Johnny stood behind him. "Tonight, my Unconventional Conventionists, you will witness a new breakthrough in biochemical research... And paradise is to be mine! It was strange, the way it happened... You get a break, then all the pieces begin to fit together, not a sign of being... What a fool! The answer was there all the time, and it took a small accident..."

"**An accident?!"**

"AN ACCIDENT!"

"An accident!" Ponyboy and Johnny echoed.

"And that's how I discovered the secret," Steve started again. "That elusive ingredient which is the very SPARK of life!"

"**Do you have that knowledge?"**

"Yes, _I _hold that knowledge!"

"**Do you know the secret?"**

"I know the secret..."

"**To life?!"**

"To life..."

"**Itself?!"**

"...Itself!! You are fortunate to be here, for tonight is the night that my beautiful creature is to be born!"

It suddenly occurred to Dallas that Steve had gotten quite a bit smarter.

Pony and Johnny then took hold of the cloth that had been covering a large, glass... Basin. A basin that held a muscular-looking, bandaged body.

"Now throw open the switches on the sonic oscillator, and step up the reactor power THREE MORE POINTS!"

Soda did as he was instructed, as Steve poured various coloured liquids into the basin-like thing.

Suddenly, the body sat up, and uttered some guttural garbage. "Oh! Darry!" Steve exclaimed, almost in awe. Ponyboy pulled the bandages off the creature's face to reveal... Darrel Curtis.

Dally felt like screaming. So did Sylvia. Could the night possibly get any weirder?

"The Sword of Damocles is hangin' over my head!" Darry began to sing. Evidently, the night _could _get weirder. "And I've got the feelin' someone's gonna be cuttin' the thread! Oh, woe is me-- My life is a misery! Oh, oh, can't you see that I'm at the start of a pretty big downer?" He more or less leapt out of the basin, and Ponyboy and Johnny got to cutting off the bandages, revealing the Darry we all know and love. "I woke up this mornin' with a start when I fell outa bed!"

"That ain't no crime!" Soda, Pony, and Johny sang back.

"And left from my dreaming was a feeling of unnameable dread!"

"That ain't no crime!"

"Ohhh, my high is low! I'm dressed up with no place to go! Aaaand, all I know is I'm at the start of a pretty big downer!"

"Oh, Darry!" Steve exclaimed.

"Sha-la-la-la that ain't no crime!"

"Oh, no, no, no!"

They went on like that for quite a bit. A lot of running around, and knocking over supposed Transylvanians was involved in the process. This whole singing business really got on Dally's nerves, and watching the event at hand was making both he and his girlfriend a little uneasy.

Eventually, though, Steve got his... _Creation _calmed, and Darry sat on the basin.

"Now, Darry. Is that _really _any way to behave on your first day out?"

"**Of the closet?!"**

"_I thought you were being quiet, Frankie!"_

"**I will not be silenced!"**

Darry uttered something incoherent, and pulled a puppy face. "But..." Steve continued. "Since you are such an exceptional beauty, I'm prepared to forgive you."

He mumbled incoherently again. "Oh, I just love success!"


	4. Chapter 4

_**A/N**: Oh Lord. This was kind of a frightening chapter to write. DarryxSteve? Seriously? I don't pair Stevie with anybody, much less DARREL. Still. It had to be done, I guess. Even if the Charles Atlas thing is a little awkward. And... Yaaay! This one's lengthier! Mostly because there's like, a kajillion songs in there! And, no, I'm not dead, contrary to popular belief. But school has been EEEEEATING me, and I haven't had much free time. But... Here you goooo! Chapter 4!_

**Disclaimer: **I don't own _The Outsiders_, SE Hinton does, and I don't own _Rocky Horror_ either. Richard O'Brien owns that. I receive nothing from this except for sheer giggles, and a possible trip to the psychologist (you never know. /winkwink). Frankie is copyright to herself!

**WARNING**: Well, as my friend Claire would say, "HOLY FUCKNOODLES!". This... Is out of control. Haha. Seriously. More hinted slash, some not-so-hinted slash, and yes I know this is OOC. I don't care. It's fun!

* * *

"He's a credit to your genius, Master," Soda complimented Steve.

"Yes," Ponyboy agreed. "He's a triumph of your will."

Johnny simply replied, "He's okay!"

"**OKAY?!"**

"Okay...? Okay?! I think we can do better than that, hmph."

"**Ask Brad and Janet! Or... Dallas and Sylvia! Whatever!"**

"_Okay, honestly, if you're gonna do this, the callbacks need to make sense."_

"Well, Dally and Sylvia? What do _you _think of him?"

"**Lie through your teeth, Sylvia!"**

"Well... Ermm--" Sylvia didn't really feel comfortable answering that. "I don't really care... But.. I don't like guys with an awful lot of muscles."

"**Obviously!"**

"OH NO YOU DIDN'T, DISEMBODIED VOICE! I'M GONNA FUCKING MURDER YOUUU!" Dally exploded.

"I didn't make him for _you!" _Steve replied to Sylvia irately, ignoring his friend's irrational behaviour towards the disembodied voice he would never actually get to kick the shit out of. Besides, even the Sweet Transvestite knew that you weren't allowed to hit girls.

"**Yeah, but she gets him anyway!"**

"He carries the Charles Atlas Seal Of Approval!"

"..Oh. How special of him," Sylvia muttered. Steve just burst into song.

"A weakling," he began slowly. "weighing ninety-eight pounds will get sand in his face when kicked to the ground. And soon in the gym with a determined chin, the sweat from his pores as he works for his cause... Will make him glisten--"

"**What's your favourite toothpaste?!"**

"...and gleam... And with massage, and just a little bit of ste-e-e-e-am..." The creepy Greaser glanced seductively at Darry. "He'll be pink, and quite clean. He'll be a strong man... Oh, honey--"

"But the wrong man!" His little group of Trannies, Pony, Johnny, and Soda echoed.

"He'll eat nutritious high-protein," Steve continued. "And swallow raw eggs!"

"**YUCK!"**

"Try to build up his shoulders, his chest, arms, and... Legs."

"**All three of them!"**

"Such an effort-- If he only knew of my pla-a-an... IN JUST 7 DAYS, I CAN MAKE YOU A MAAAAAAAN!"

Dallas did not really know how to respond to this, and neither did Sylvia. It had always kind of been suspected that Steve swung that way, but nobody expected him to leap out of the closet like that. Luckily, they didn't have to respond, for Steve kept going. "He'll do press-ups, and chin-ups, do the snatch, clean and jerk. He thinks dynamic tension must be hard work. Such strenuous living, I just don't understand, when... IN JUST 7 DAYS, I CAN MAKE YOU A MAAAAAN!!"

He probably would have kept going, except for the fact that there was a beeping noise coming from the freezer that was, for some reason, in his laboratory. The beeping was followed by the freezer door getting knocked down by a motorcycle, and almost crushing poor Steve and Darry.

"TWO-BIT!!" Johnny shrieked ecstatically.

It was indeed Two-Bit on the motorcycle, as he revealed to everybody, after dropping his helmet to the floor.

"Whatever happened to Saturday night?" He questioned in song. "When you dressed up sharp and you felt alright? It don't seem the same since cosmic light came into my life-- I thought I was divine. I used to go for a ride with a chick who'd go, and listen to the music on the radio; A saxophone was blowin' on a rock'n'roll show. You climbed in the back seat-- You really had a good time!"

For a split second, there, Dallas was relieved to see Two-Bit. But that relief quickly faded, when, he began to sing like everyone else. And it didn't help matters that the Mickey Mouse-loving Greaser handed a random saxophone to Dally, just as he launched into the chorus of his song.

_Does Two-Bit even play sax? _He wondered, watching in horror as the singing continued.

"Hot Patootie, bless my soul! I really love that rock'n'roll! Hot Patootie, bless my soul! I really love that rock'n'roll!"

Pretty soon, most of the Transylvanians had joined in with the chorus, while Frankie tried to scream, **"SEX, DRUGS AND ROCK'N'ROLL!" **over them.

"My head used to swim from the perfume I smelled. My hands kinda fumbled with her--" Two-Bit looked at Johnny. "Err.. His leather belt. I'd taste his nonexistent lipstick, and that's when I'd melt. He'd whisper in my ear tonight he really was mine. Get back in front, put some hair oil on. Buddy Holly was singin' his very last song. With your arms around your girl... Guy... Whatever... You'd try to sing along. You felt pretty good-WOO!-really had a good tiiiime!"

The whole little group of people, not including Dallas, Sylvia, and Steve, launched back into the chorus. Ponyboy and Soda were dancing in the freezer, as only Magenta and Riffraff could do. It was a little weird.

Darry started to.. Dance, or something, causing Steve to lunge at Two-Bit with an ice pick. That ordeal resulted in a bloody mess that used to be Two-Bit Matthews laying in the back of the freezer. Pony and Sodapop both glared at Steve in contempt, knowing they would be the ones to clean it up.

"**That's no way to pick your friends!"**

"One from the vaults," Steve muttered, stumbling out of the freezer with blood all over his rubber gloves. He looked down at them in disgust, and Ponyboy removed them.

"Ugh.." Darry mumbled. He didn't really appreciate his "creator" hacking people to death for no reason. Especially when it was making Johnny cry like a five-year-old girl.

"Oh, baby, don't be upset..." Steve cooed.

"**What kind of killing was it?!"**

"...Besides. It was a mercy killing."

"**Mercy, mercy!"**

"He had a certain naïve charm, but no muscle... Oh!" That interjection launched him back into the _Charles Atlas Song_. "But a deltoid and a bicep... A cut groin, and a tricep... Makes me wanna... Ooooh... Shake! Makes me wanna take Charles Atlas by the haaaaand!"

"IN JUST 7 DAYS, I CAN MAKE YOU A MAAAAAAN!" The Trannies finished for him.

"I don't want no dissention, just dynamic tension," Steve informed. "In just 7 days, I can make you a maaaan! Dig it if you caaaan... IN JUST 7 DAYS, I CAN MAKE YOU A MAAAAN!"

That nice spectacle was followed by Steve and Darry's wedding march(?), during which all the Transylvanians threw confetti. That pissed off Ponyboy even more, because he'd be the one to clean _that _up, too. Sometimes, being the "domestic" really sucked.


	5. Chapter 5

**_A/N: _**_Aww, no disturbing-to-Dallas musical numbers! How saaad! But at least I've got an update, right? Of course I'm right. Hehe. Enjoy!_

**Disclaimer: **I've said it a kajillion times, and I will say it again-- I own _nothing._ _The Outsiders _is SE Hinton's, and _Rocky Horror _is Richard O'Brien's. I am simply a crackpot fan who felt the need to combine the two! Don't sue meeee!

**WARNING: **OOC Greasers, slash, and nothing _that _graphic-- Oh my! Yes, they're not really getting into character. And they will continue to stay that way. Steve attempts some rape (what the helk?), and Dally cusses a lot! But I'm too exhausted to get into detail, so you're safe-- _This time around. _/madcap laughter

* * *

"_There are those in this world who say that life is merely an illusion--"_

"**Like your neck!"**

"_And that reality is nothing but a figment of the imagination--"_

"**Like your neck!"**

"_Honestly to God, Frankie, CORK IT! I ain't Charles Grey! I've got a neck!" _Rozamond screamed. _"Anyway... if this is so, Dally and Sylvia are pretty much safe. However, the departure of their vaguely disturbing host and his... Erm.. "creation" into their somber bridal suite left them feeling quite apprehensive, as they were shown to their separate rooms."_

xxXxx

Johnny, still upset about Two-Bit's sudden murder, was ordered to show Sylvia to her room. He shoved her into an old-style bedroom, with a pink filter or light or something. Throwing a bathrobe in Sylvia's general direction, the gang's Pet slammed the door behind him, and left.

"**Pink is for sluts!"**

Sodapop was ordered to do the same thing to Dallas. His room had pretty much the same layout, only with a blue filter. If it had been a film, there's a good chance that it would have been the exact same room as Sylvia's.

"**Same room, different filter-- Whatta cheap movie... story... whatever. Blue is for assholes!"**

Sylvia, trying to ignore the obnoxious, disembodies voices, had been laying in the old-fashioned bed, staring at the ceiling.

_What a trip, _She though, almost angry. _Seriously, who the hell slipped acid in our Kool-Aid? Curly ain't gonna believe a word of this... if we even get out of here..._

A knock disrupted her thoughts, and someone let himself into her room.

"**Imitation Asshole calling!"**

"What the hell-- Who's there?!"

"**Have no fear, Steve the wonderfuck is here! PART ONE!"**

Sylvia was trying to figure _that _callback out, when she heard Dally's voice. Of course, it was actually Steve cleverly disguised as Dallas, but _she _didn't know that.

"Don't worry," He hissed. Steve did a dead-on Dallas impression. "It's just me."

"Oh thank God," She replied, scooting over so he could get in the bed beside her. "I figured it was one of those fuckin' weirdoes. This place is givin' me the _creeps._"

He just nodded, and slid an arm around her. It took about three seconds for Steve to (predictably) get on top of her, and before long, Sylvia was fisting his hair.

"**Don't touch the hair! It's a rat!"**

Once again, the strange callback puzzled Sylvia, but in another three seconds, the clever Dally wig was, well, removed.

"HOLY SHIT, STEVE!" She yelled, trying to shove him off. Needless to say, Steve was not exactly her favourite person to spend time with-- Much less, in bed.

"**I _told _you not to touch the hair!"**

"What's the matter?" Steve asked, now in his normal tone.

"What's the matter? YOU IMPERSONATED MY BOYFRIEND, AND YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT'S THE MATTER? ISN'T THIS MATTER _CLEAR _TO YOU?! SHOULDN'T YOU BE FUCKING DARRY'S BRAINS OUT RIGHT NOW?! GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE, RIGHT NOW."

Needless to say, this Sylvia was no pushover Janet Weiss. She ended up shoving Steve to the floor, where he crawled away (probably in terror). Pleased with herself, Sylvia resumed her thinking.

xxXxx

Ponyboy and Soda were sitting around in Steve's laboratory.

Well, actually, Ponyboy was mopping up the nasty mess that had been made by Tim Shephard and his Tranny friends, and Sodapop was sitting around. It really bugged Pony that, simply because his title in the nonexistent credits was "domestic", he had to do _everything._

Soda, in a very bored stupor, suddenly got up. He walked right across the floor that Pony had been mopping, and over to Darry. Darry was passed out in the "somber bridal suite".

"**See Sodapop, social retard, walk across Ponyboy's nice, clean floor!"**

Ponyboy glared at the ceiling, knowing that Frankie was very correct. But Soda didn't care much, because he was choosing to harass his brother/Steve's "creation". With a _candelabra_.What kind of sick person does that?

Sodapop's pyromanical taunting resulted in Darry running away in terror. He then looked to Ponyboy (who looked disgusted) with a smug look on his face. The dear "handyman" was quite proud of what he had done.

"**ELBOW SEX! ELBOW SEX! ELBOW SEX!" **Frankie chanted, knowing what was _supposed _to happen next. The two youngest Curtis brothers looked at each other in total confusion, wondering what the disembodied voice meant by "elbow sex".

"Think we should release The Dogs?" Ponyboy asked, leaning on his mop. Sodapop grinned somewhat sadistically.

"Definitely."

And, they did.

xxXxx

While dear old Darry was being assaulted by a flaming weapon, Dallas was in a similar situation to Sylvia. He couldn't sleep--Or maybe he was afraid to—and was laying there, thinking of a good explanation to Curly. If they even got around to seeing Curly.

There was a similar knock on his door, and the person let himself (or herself?) in. It was still Steve, but this time, he was cleverly disguised as Sylvia. Once again, the impression was dead-on. It was kind of creepy.

"**It's Steve the wonderfuck! PART TWO!"**

"Yeah?" Dallas questioned the intruder, not even knowing what Frankie's warning callback could mean. "Who's there?"

"It's just me... It's Sylvia."

"Oh." He sighed, almost with relief. "I thought it was Steve or somethin'. Man, what a creep."

"Ugh, YES. He's scary!"

Steve-as-Sylvia laid his (her?) head on Dally's chest, and the towheaded hood started to absently play with the clever Sylvia wig. Steve, well, he was just trying to cozy up to Dallas, to get in his pants (or lack thereof?). So far, it had been working, until, came Frankie's warning call:

"**Don't touch the hair! It's the same rat!"**

Of course, the startled Dally did end up jerking the wig off.

"WHAT THE FUCK?! STEVE?!"

"**Man, what _is _it with y'all? You never listen!"**

"...I have a feeling you were enjoying that..."

"STEVE, YOU'RE A FUCKING GUY."

"..Yes. And so are you."

"SO LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!"

They were in the midst of a screaming fight that looked like it was going to result in rape, when a beeping noise came from a screen above them. On the screen was Sodapop, informing them that Darry had escaped.

"Ponyboy has released the hounds," he said solemnly, as though it actually bothered him.

"Ohh..." Steve muttered with a pout. "Cooo-ming!"

"**And so's Dallas!"**

Dallas glared at the ceiling, and shoved Steve out of the bed.

"Weirdo..." He hissed, watching Steve make his way out the bedroom door. "Yeah, and GOOD RIDDANCE TO YOU, SIR!"


	6. Chapter 6

_**A/N: **Well, thank God! I'm finally updating! Uh, we saw "RHPS" last night (we being my father, my friend whom the Frankie character is based on, and myself). At the theatre, of course! I am no longer a video-virgin! The irony here, though, is that I was the one doing all the yelling and shrieking and singing. "Frankie" was doing a lot less of that. Anywho... On with the fic!_

**Disclaimer: **I don't own _The Outsiders _or _Rocky Horror_. As I have said. In every single friggin' chapter. This is getting old, guys!

**WARNING: **Language, as always... plus, the typical OOC-ness of it all. Oh yeah, and Sylvia gets it on with Darry...

Sylvia was standing in the old-fashioned elevator. She'd pretty much given up on trying to sleep altogether, and figured she would try and find a phone or something. Needless to say, the expedition was getting to her.

"If only we hadn't taken this fuckin' trip..." She muttered, as the elevator began to go down.

"**But you did!"**

"If only that damned car hadn't broken down--"

"**But it did!"**

"If only we were amongst friends, and not creepy imitations of them--"

"**But you aren't!"**

"Or sane people, for that matter!"

"**BUT YOU AREN'T!"**

"Dallas, goddamn it, we need to get out of here..."

She was mumbling unfinished, incoherent sentences, walking into Steve's laboratory. Suddenly, something emitted a groan behind her.

Remember the basin? Well, in the basin was Darry. And he wasn't looking so great. It was quite obvious that the Dogs had not been very friendly towards him.

"Oh!" Sylvia exclaimed, startled. "Darry? What's wrong?"

Naturally, he didn't reply, so she kept talking as she walked over to the basin. "You're hurt. Did _they _do this to you?"

"**No, I did it to myself!"**

"I knew they were assholes but... never mind." She paused, ripping a piece of fabric from an incredibly short slip. "I'll see if I can't get some of that cleaned up, huh?"

Sylvia wrapped that piece of cloth around a cut on Darry's hand, and repeated the process on a few other scrapes and injuries. When she got to his other hand, though, she paused, as though thinking.

"**Hey, Sylvia, you wanna fuck Darry? Think about it! Think about it long and hard! And smile if you do!"**

Slowly, Sylvia smiled, not even hearing Frankie.

xxXxx

Rozamond was sitting, now, holding a dictionary. She was in the e's, and looking at the word _emotion._

"_Emotion: Agitation or disturbance of the mind. A vehement or excited mental state. It can also be a powerful and irrational master. And, from what Johnny and Ponyboy eagerly watched on the television in their room, it was obvious that Sylvia had become its slave..."_

xxXxx

Johnny and Ponyboy were, indeed, sitting in their room, watching a television monitor. Johnny had on torn, striped pajamas and Mickey Mouse ears, and... well, we won't get into what Pony was wearing.

"Tell us about it, Sylvia!" They both exclaimed, laughing.

"_Are you actually going to sing this time, Sylvia, or are you just going to threaten me?"_

"I was feeling done in..." Sylvia slowly began, trying to clean up Darry's cuts and stare at the ceiling at the same time. "Couldn't win. And I'm going to have to say, _I'd Only Ever Kissed Before _because it fits with the tune of the song... so... I'd only ever kissed before--"

"You mean she--" Johnny looked at Ponyboy, in fake shock.

"Uh-huh."

"I thought there's no use getting into heavy petting-- It only leads to trouble, and, seat-wetting."

"**Oh, crap. My seat's wet."**

"Now all I want to know is how to go... I tasted blood a long time ago, and I want more."

"More, more, more!" Johnny and Pony echoed mockingly.

"I'll put up no resistance, I want to go the distance... I've got an itch to scratch-- I need assistance! Touch-a, touch-a, touch-a touch me! I wanna be dirty! Thrill me, chill me, fulfill me, Creature Of The Night!" She paused, for breath. "Then if anything grows while you pose, I'll oil you up and drop you down--"

"Down, down, down!" Ponyboy and Johnny echoed again.

"And that's just one small fraction of the main attraction. You need a friendly hand-- Ah, I need action! Touch-a, touch-a, touch-a touch me! I wanna be dirty! Thrill me, chill me, fulfill me, Creature of the Night!"

"Touch-a, touch-a, touch-a touch me!" Johnny teased, nearly getting on top of Ponyboy.

"I wanna be dirty!" The younger boy mocked.

"Thrill me, chill me, fulfill me--"

"Creature of the Night!"

They both laughed like mental patients, or something of that effect.

"Touch-a, touch-a, touch-a touch me! I wanna be dirty! Thrill me, chill me, fulfill me, Creature Of The Night!" Sylvia exclaimed again, not knowing that she was being made fun of a few rooms over.

Darry: "Creature of the Night!"

Dallas: "Creature Of The Night?"

Steve: "Creature Of the Night."

Ponyboy: "Creature of The Night!"

Sodapop: "Creature Of The Night."

Johnny: "Creature Of the NIIIIIGHT!"

Darry: "Creature Of the Night!"

"Creature of the Night!" Sylvia finished.


	7. Chapter 7

_**A/N: **These are getting progressively shorter, aren't they? I apologise for that. I really do. Anywho, we're almost done with the Rocky Horror Greaser Show! I'm estimating just a couple more chapters... and I'm gonna have to hurry, if I want this finished by Halloween. Thank you for reading, as always._

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing.

**WARNING: **Haha, um, there's not that much to warn about in this chapter, surprisingly! Just language, and there's no musical number!

* * *

"OWWWW!" Soda cried out in agony, getting shoved from the elevator. Steve was assaulting him with a horse whip, for letting Darry loose.

"**Say, "Thank you" in French!"**

"MERCY!!"

"HOW DID IT HAPPEN?!" Steve demanded.

"I was only away for a minute, Master!"

"Well, see if you can find him on the monitor!"

Steve then proceeded to backhand his supposed "best buddy" with the whip, as Frankie shrieked, **"Show us your backhand, Stevie!"**

Soda was watching the monitor, almost in shock.

"Master, we have a visitor!"

Dally who had been with them, for some reason, announced, "Hey, Curly! It's Curly Shephard!"

And, sure enough, Curly was standing outside, as they saw on the monitor.

"You know this Earthling?" Soda asked, then corrected himself with, "This person?"

"Well, yeah, we were goin' to see him when this fucking mess happened..."

"I see," Steve replied, anger in his voice. "So, this wasn't just a chance meeting? You came here with purpose!"

"I were tellin' the truth for once, when I said the car broke down," Dallas told him simply.

"**Assholes don't lie!"**

"I know what you told me! But this Curly Shephard... his name is not unknown to me!"

"Well, I guess not.. I mean, he's the younger brother of the second toughest hood in Tulsa..."

"And now he works for your government, doesn't he, Dally? He's attached to the bureau of investigation for that of which you call UFO's! Isn't that right, Dally?"

"What the hell? I _hope _not! He's supposed to be in the reformatory for 6 months!"

"The intruder is entering the building, Master," Soda cut in hurriedly.

"**What room is he in, now? The bedroom? The bathroom? The TV room?"**

"He'll probably be entering the Zen room..." Steve informed the others.

"**The Zen room? Crap! I left a joint in there!"**

"_I thought you gave up pot, idiot!"_

"Shall we inquire of him in person?" Our cross-dressing friend asked, switching on a magnet.

The magnet was attracted to the stolen watches in Curly's pockets, and eventually ended up pulling him through the wall of the laboratory.

"GREAT SCOTT!" Dallas paused. "...SHEPHARD! Whatever!"

Frankie tossed some toilet paper, but, obviously, no one really saw it.

"Well," Curly started. "Steve Randle, we meet at last."

"Curly!" Dally randomly exclaimed.

"Dally! What the hell are you doin' here?"

"Don't play games, Curly Shephard!" Steve swore bitterly under his breath before continuing. "You know perfectly well what Dallas Winston is doing here! It was part of your plan, wasn't it? That he and his female should come here and check the layout for you? Well, unfortunately for you, your plans are going to be drastically changed! You must be adaptable, Curly; I know Dallas is."

"**You promised you wouldn't tell!"**

"Look, idiot, running into Dally here wasn't fucking planned. I just came here to use your toilet. Oh, and to find Two-Bit."

"Two-Bit?!" Steve asked him. "What do you know of Two-Bit?!"

"I know an awful lot. And I should. He's my--"

"**Sex life!"**

"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?! I was actually gonna say next-door neighbour..."

"Curly--" Dally tried to start, but was cut off by Sylvia uttering, "ah!" from behind them.

"**Mouseketeer role-call!"**

"Sylvia!" Curly exclaimed in shock, seeing her with Darry, barely covered.

"Curly!" she replied, equally shocked that he was there.

"Sylvia!" Dally yelled angrily.

"Dally!"

"Darry!" Steve screamed, even more angry than Dallas. Darry just looked at him.

And, to make a long story short, that went on for about three more times, until Steve told Darry, "I made you, and I can break you just as easily!"

Out of the blue, Ponyboy walked through the hole in the wall that Curly had created, holding a gong.

"Dinner is prepared!" He exclaimed, whacking the instrument.

"**Aww man, I hate prepared!"**

"Excellent," Steve told him. "And, uhm, under the circumstances... formal dress is to be optional!"

xxXxx

"_Food has always played an important part in Life's rituals... you know, the breaking of bread, the Last Supper... and now... this. Whatever this is."_


	8. Chapter 8

_**A/N: **Oh my goodness, two chapters in one day! Don't y'all feel lucky? Hehh. Well, I don't have much to say. Just enjoy chapter 8!_

**Disclaimer: **Oh, for the love of Davy Jones, we've established that I own _none _of this.

* * *

Soda and Pony went around, serving every one slices of... um... whatever it was that they were eating.

"**Oh no, not Meatloaf again!"**

"_That one's only funny if Meat Loaf is playing Eddie, genius."_

"I propose a toast..." Steve began, as Frankie tossed toast that no one saw. "To absent friends."

"To absent friends," everyone else stated awkwardly, raising their glasses.

"And to Darry." Steve beamed.

"**Hey, finish the song this time! Last time you stopped in the middle!"**

"Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday, dear Darry. Happy birthday to..."

Steve just kind of halted in the middle, as Frankie so kindly screamed.

"We came here to talk about Two-Bit," Curly insisted randomly.

"Two-Bit!" Johnny almost shrieked, while Steve threatened him with the electric slicer.

"That's a rather tender subject... anyone for another slice?"

Everyone but Darry caught onto the fact that they were probably eating Two-Bit for dinner, after that.

"Excuse me," Johnny whispered, getting up from the table and exiting the dining room. He proceeded to shriek, once out of the room. It was pretty hard not to hear him.

"I knew he was in with our fucked-up crowd," Curly stated, looking to the audience (if there was one). "But this is worse than I thought. Aliens?!"

"**Who the heck is he talking to?! Who the heck am _I _talking to?!"**

"What the hell is _that _supposed to mean?" Dally asked him.

"Go on, Curly," Steve prodded.

"From the day he was born..." the youngest Shephard boy started, in song.

"**Not the night, but the day."**

"He was trouble..."

"**With a capital T!"**

"He was the thorn..."

"**Not the rose, but the thorn."**

"In his Mother's side..."

"**Not the front, but the side."**

"She tried in vain..."

"**Not the artery, but the vein."**

"_But he never caused her nothing but shame," _Rozamond put in.

"He left home the day she died..."

"**Hit it!"**

"From the day she was gone, all he wanted was rock'n'roll porn and a motorbike. Shooting up junk--"

"_He was a low-down, cheap little punk!"_

"**Yay punks!"**

"Taking everyone for a ride!"

"When Two-Bit said he didn't like his teddy, you knew he was a no-good kid," Everybody joined in (including Sylvia and Dallas, for once). "But when he threatened your life with a switchblade knife--"

"What a guy," Steve tossed in sarcastically.

"Makes you cry," Sylvia replied.

"Und I did!"

And while that was going on, Johnny was in the room he shared with Ponyboy, sulking.

"Everybody shoved him," he sang. "I very nearly loved him. I said, "hey, listen to me! Stay sane inside insanity!", but he locked the door and threw away the keeeeey!"

"But he must've been drawn," Curly kept going.

"**By a pencil or a pen."**

"Into something. Making him warn me in a note which reads--"

"What's it say, what's it say?!" The entire group wanted to know.

Curly pulled out a note written in Two-Bit's scraggly handwriting, which read: "_I'm out of my HED. O, hurry, or I may be dead. They mustn't carry out their evil deeds!"_

Two-Bit could almost be heard reading it. And at the end, he screamed.

"When Two-Bit said he didn't like his teddy, you knew he was a no-good kid! But when he threatened your life with a switchblade knife--"

"What a guy."

"Makes you cry."

"Und I did!"

"When Two-Bit said he didn't like his teddy, you knew he was a no-good kid! But when he threatened your life with a switchblade knife--"

"What a gu-u-u-y..."

"Makes you cr-y-y-y..."

"Und I did!"

Suddenly, Steve got up and pulled the tablecloth from the table, revealing the very battered, and very dead remains of Two-Bit. Sylvia screamed, and clung to Darry.

"Darry!" Steve yelled. "How could you?!"

"**The pantyhose were ripped!"**

Sodapop and Ponyboy began to laugh like maniacs as Steve began to chase Sylvia. Eventually, though, Soda just ordered his brother to, "SHUT UP!!"


	9. Chapter 9

_**A/N: **Well, we really are almost done. If I work really hard, I can probably mash the Floorshow and the ending into one really long chapter. Maybe not, though. It just depends. Regardless, though, we've only got about two chapters left, at most!_

**Disclaimer: **Honestly, if I owned _The Outsiders _or _Rocky Horror, _I wouldn't be sitting here writing this garbage.

**WARNING: **Once again, not _too _much to warn about. Just some "parrot words", as my brother would say.

* * *

"I'll tell you once; Won't tell you twice," Steve sang out whilst chasing Sylvia. "You'd better wise up, Sylvia... umm... Weiss!"

"**Did you say rice?!"**

"Your apple pie don't taste so nice. You'd better wise up, Sylvia Weiss!" He then proceeded to pin her against the wall, not missing a beat. "I've laid the seed; It should be all you need. You're as sensual as a pencil-- Wound up like an E or first string. When we made it, didja hear a bell ring?!"

Sylvia shrieked, and managed to get out of Mister Randle's grasp. She ended up running into the laboratory, with Steve hot on her heels. Curly, Dallas, Pony, Soda, Darry, and Johnny were hot on _his _heels.

"You've gotta block. Well, take my advice! You'd better wise up, Sylvia Weiss!" He sang, once Sylvia, Curly, and Dally had all ended up on the platform in the middle of the lab. "The transducer will seduce ya!"

He flipped a switch.

"My feet!" Sylvia squeaked. "I can't move my feet!"

"My wheels! My God-- I can't move my wheels! ...wait, what the hell?!" Curly yelled.

"It's as if we are glued to this spot!" Dally pointed out.

"**My socks! I can't move my socks!" **Frankie tried to scream over him.

"You are!" Steve replied, somewhat sadistically. "So quake with fear, you tiny fools!"

"We're trapped!"

"It's something you'll get used to," Steve told them. "A mental mindfuck can be nice!"

"You won't find us Earth people to be the easy mark you imagined, idiot," Curly responded. "This fucking sonic transducer thing... it's some kind of audio-vibrato physio-molecular transport device, I guess?"

"You mean--!" Dallas gasped.

"Yeah, genius, it's something _we've _been working at for forever or something. It just seems our buddy here's found a way to perfect it. A device that is capable of breaking down solid matter and projecting it through space, and, who knows-- perhaps, even time its self!"

"You mean, he's gonna send us to another Goddamned planet?!" Sylvia demanded in alarm.

"Planet, schmanet, Janet! ...Um, Sylvia," Steve let her know, strolling over. "You'd better wise up, Sylvia Weiss. You'd better wise up, build your thighs up. You'd better wise up--"

"_And then she cried out:"_

"STOOOOOOP!!!!"

After an awkward, lengthy silence, Steve exclaimed, "Don't get hot and flustered! Use a bit of mustard!"

"You're a hot dog!" Dallas tried to insult. "But you'd better not try to hurt her, Steve Randle!"

Ponyboy zapped him with the Medusa-fier.

"You're a hot dog!" Curly replied. "But you'd better not try to hurt her, Steve Randle!"

Then, Ponyboy zapped him.

"You're a hot dog!" Sylvia concluded, before getting zapped herself.

There was then another awkward silence, until little Johnny stormed up to Steve.

"My God!" He exclaimed angrily. "I can't stand any more of this. First, you spurn me for Two-Bit, and then you throw him off like an old jacket for Darry or something! You chew people up, then spit 'em back out again! I loved you..."

"**WHAT?!"**

"Did you hear me?! I _loved _you! And, ya wanna know what it got me? Yeah, I'll tell you: a big nothing! You're like a sponge, Steve. You take, take, take, and drain everybody of what emotion they had to begin with. Yeah, well, I'm done with this crap! You're gonna have to choose between me and Darry, so who's it gonna be, huh?"

Ponyboy zapped him, too.

"It's not easy having a good time," Steve mumbled in fake sadness, as Darry got zapped as well. "Even smiling makes my face ache. My children turn on me... Darry's acting just like Two-Bit did. Do you think it was a mistake, splitting his brain between the two of them?"

"**That could be it!"**

Ponyboy and Soda suddenly walked up to Steve.

"I grow weary of this world!" Pony exclaimed. "When shall we return to Transylvania, huh?!"

"Pony," Steve began. "I'm extremely grateful of the help of you and your brother, Sodapop. You have both served me well, and such loyalty will not go unrewarded. You will discover that, when the mood takes me, I can be quite generous."

"I ask for nothing, Master! Nothing!"

Steve's eyes flared. "And you shall receive it-- In abundance!! But, come along, now. We are ready for the Floorshow."

xxXxx

"_And, so you see, fate decided that Sylvia and Dally should run into Curly, after all. However, it was, obviously, in quite an awkward situation that none of them would have ever imagined getting into. As you can see, their host was a dude of little to no morals--"_

"**Yay, no morals!"**

"_And, you will soon find out what indignities he subjected them to. What of this Floorshow that is mentioned?"_

"**What of it?!"**

"_In an empty house? In the middle of the night? What sort of bizarre plan had Steve concocted?"_

"**What indeed!"**

"_What indeed--"_

"**My thoughts exactly!"**

"_From what had happened previously, it was clear that this was to be--"_

"**A picnic?!"**

"_No picnic."_

"**Aww man!"**

xxXxx

Steve was darting around behind a stage somewhere, obviously in a hurry. He was even more done-up than before, making it look like he'd _really _raided Evie's closet, and probably her make-up bag, too. He was flipping switches and such, making preparations for his _very diabolical _Floorshow. Everyone whom he had Medusa-fied were on the stage he was behind, also very done up.

Rozamond was right. What kind of bizarre plan did Mister Randle have in mind?


	10. Chapter 10

_**A/N: **Well, cross-dressing my little Greasers is bad enough. And what's worse is Steve's very diabolical Floorshow! Haha. This was increasingly uncomfortable to write, because I kept imagining Johnny in lingerie, and that is a very disturbing image. Seriously, think about it! (why am I putting these pictures in your head?!)_

**Disclaimer: **Susie Hinton has extreme reason to sue me, just for abusing her characters like this, but it needed to happen and you know it! So don't sue meee! I do not own anything; Richard O'Brien and SE Hinton doooo.

**WARNING: **Cross-dressing, sexual references, and language-- Oh my! I'll warn you... you might not see _The Outsiders _or your undergarments in the same way again...

* * *

Johnny was de-Medusa'd.

"It was great when it all began," he sang out in a very un-Johnny like manner, complete with... strutting. "I was a regular Stevie fan. But it was over when he had the plan to start a-workin' on a muscle man! Now the only thing that gives me hope--"

"**Is smoking dope!"**

"Is the love of a certain dope--"

"**Same thing!"**

"Rose tints my world, keeps me safe from my trouble and pain!"

Darry was de-Medusa'd.

"I am just seven hours old--" he tried to sing, but was cut off by Frankie.

"**And can't dance!"**

"Truly beautiful to behold. And somebody should be told--"

"**That I can't sing!"**

"My libido hasn't been controlled! Now the only thing I've come to trust is an orgasmic rush of lust! Rose tints my world, keeps me safe from my trouble and pain!"

Dally was de-Medusa'd.

"It's beyond me; help me, Mommy! I'll be good, you'll see! Take this dream away!"

"**Just _try _and get rid of it!"**

Dally dropped to the stage floor. "What's this--"

"**The floor!"**

"Let's see... I feel sexy! What's come over me? Woah, here it comes again!"

Sylvia was de-Medusa'd.

"I feel released; bad times decreased... my confidence has increased; reality is heeeeeere! The game has been disbanded; my mind has been expanded! It's a gas that Stevie's landed! His lust is so sincere!"

There was a fanfare, and the curtains behind them parted. Behind the curtains was the RKO logo, blown up. There was also a diving board, above a pool. And standing in front of the logo was Steve, looking _very _done up. It was a wonder that Evie didn't realise that her clothing was going missing.

"Whatever happened to Faye Wray?"

"**She went ape-shit!"**

"That delicate, satin-draped frame..." he continued. "As it clung to her thigh... how I started to cry... 'cause I wanted to be dressed just the same--"

"**And you are!"**

"Give yourself over to absolute pleasure! Swim the warm waters of sins of the flesh. Erotic nightmares beyond any measure, and sensual daydreams to treasure, foreverrrr... can't you just see it? Woah-oh-oh!"

He leapt into the pool, before repeating "Don't dream it, be it" four times, at least. The others followed suit, and the "Don't dream it, be it" mantra got chanted.

Backstage, Curly was de-Medusa'd as well.

"Ach!" he exclaimed.

"**Tung!"**

"We've got to get the fuck out of this trap... before this decadence saps our wits! ...I've gotta be strong... and try to hang on... or else my mind may well snap! And my life... will be lived... for the thrilllllls!"

"It's beyond me; help me Mommy!" Dally sang again, before pretty much eating Johnny's face in the pool.

Sylvia just announced, "God bless Lilly St. Cyr!"

"My, my, my, my, my my my my!" Steve randomly shouted. "I'm a wild and untamed thing! I'm a bee with a deadly sting! You get a hit and your mind goes, "ping"! Your heart'll thump and your blood will sing. So let the party and the sound rock on! I'm gonna shake it 'til the life has gone! Rose tints my world, keeps me safe from my trouble and pain!"

His fellow cross-dressers (and Sylvia) joined in, basically singing the same thing over, only replacing "I" with "we". And when that was over, Soda and Pony burst in through the double doors at the front of the auditorium the Floorshow was being performed in, clad in their Transylvanian gear.

"Steve Randle, it's all over!" Soda called out, holding up a laser gun of some kind. He and his younger brother moved closer to the stage. "Your mission is a failure; your lifestyle's too extreme! I'm your new commander; you now are my prisoner! We'll return to Transylvania-- Prepare the transit beam!"

"**Wait!"**

"Wait!" Steve exclaimed, directly after Frankie.

"**Can you explain?!"**

"I can explain!"

"**This had better be better than last weeks'..."**

Quickly, Johnny rushed over to a spotlight, and fixed it on Steve, who was sitting on the edge of their stage.

"On the day I went away..." He sang quietly, shielding his eyes from the light.

"Goodbye..." Everyone else sang in the background.

"Was all I had to say..."

"Now I..."

"Want to come again, and stay..."

"Oh, my, my..."

"Smile, and that will mean I may... 'Cause I've seen, oh, blue skies through the tears in my eyes! And I realise... I'm going home..."

Ponyboy fake-yawned to show that this act was boring him.

"I'm going home..." the group echoed, ignoring Pony.

"Everywhere it's been the same..."

"Feeling..."

"Like I'm outside in the rain..."

"Wheeling..."

"...free, to try and find a game..."

"Dealing..."

"Cards for sorrow, cards for pain..."

Frankie tossed a few greeting cards into the air, but no one saw (of course).

"Cause I've seen," Steve kept going. "Oh, blue skies through the tears in my eyes! And I realise, I'm going home... I'm going home.... I'm going home..."

_**A/N (part two): **Oh, don't you just love "I'm Going Home"? XD It's one of my favourite songs from the movie... Tim Curry definitley nails it. I can't really see Stevie singing it, though! Anywho, the next chapter ought to be our last one..._


	11. Chapter 11

_**A/N: **Well, there you have it! This is the last glorious chapter! And I didn't even get flamed! XD Thanks so much for reading this, guys, disturbing as it may be._

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing!

**WARNING: **I assume you've figured it out by now. Haha.

* * *

"How sentimental," Ponyboy mumbled sarcastically.

"**Bitch!"**

"And also presumptuous of you," Soda finished for his brother. "And I'm sorry if you found my words misleading. When I said "we" were to return to Transylvania, I meant only Pony and myself. You are to remain here... in spirit, anyway."

"Holy shit, that's a laser!" Curly exclaimed obviously.

"Yeah, Curly... this here's a laser capable of emitting a beam of pure anti-matter."

"**Then it doesn't matter!"**

"You're gonna kill him?" Dally inquired. "What'd he do?"

"You saw what happened to Two-Bit," Curly replied. "Maybe he wants to protect society or somethin'."

"**Screw society!"**

"Precisely!" Soda told him. "And now, Steve Randle, your time has come. Say goodbye to all of this--"

"**Goodbye, all of this!"**

"And hello to oblivion!"

"**Hello Oblivion, how's the wife and kids?"**

But before the suddenly-evil Soda could zap his Master, Johnny shrieked. So, he was the first shot.

While poor Johnny was being killed, Steve tried to make his grand exit by climbing the curtain. But it didn't work, and Sodapop turned around and zapped him, too.

Darry began mourning the loss of his... well... lover. Not saying anything (give or take a moan or two), he lifted the body and tried to climb up the RKO radio tower set. Soda kept shooting, though, and eventually shot him down, as well. They were sent falling into the pool.

"**All right, you two... EVERYBODY OUT OF THE POOL!"**

Sylvia gasped.

"You.. you killed them!" she shrieked, near hysterics. It was obvious that the evening had taken its toll on her.

"But I though you liked them," Ponyboy remarked. "They liked you..."

"**Get paranoid, Soda!"**

"They didn't like me!" Soda shot back. "They never liked me!"

"...you did right!" Curly told him.

"A decision had to be made..."

"Well, you're okay by me!" Curly even gave him a thumbs-up.

"**Kiss-ass!"**

"Look... Curly, I'm sorry about your--"

"**Sex life!"**

"..neighbour," Soda finished, annoyed at all of these outbursts from disembodied voices.

"Who? Two-Bit?" Curly shrugged. "Maybe it was for the best... he was and idiot. Heh heh heh..."

"I guess... Curly, listen. You should leave now while you still can. We are about to beam the entire house to the planet of Transsexual, in the galaxy of Transylvania. Go... now."

Quickly as they could, Sylvia, Dallas, and Curly escaped the house. They were knocked to the ground, and left in the ruins, as it was beamed up to... where ever.

xxXxx

"_And crawling on the planet's face... some insects, called the human race... lost in time, and--"_

"**What's your favourite TV show?!"**

"_Lost in space--"_

"**Danger, Will Robinson!"**

"_And meaning."_

Rozamond got up from the desk, and flicked out the lights as she strolled from the room, satisfied with her (crappy) Charles Grey impression.

The little globe on the desk, though, was left on, as one could plainly see. Somewhere in the distance, _Science Fiction/Double Feature _could be heard playing softly.

And that was the end of that.

_**A/N (part two): **Yaaaayy! We made it through alive! I'm sorry if I raped any minds... and you'll never be able to un-see any of this, EVER. Mwaha! Still, I'm very pleased with this. And, no I did not stick _Super Heroes _in there. I love that song, but I didn't really think that it fit in with the Greaser version of this tale... maybe it did, I don't know. Thanks again, guys!_


End file.
